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Twilight Of The Sparkly Midnight New MoonSay what you will about Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight books, but they are popular. And the two movies? Huge. To give you some idea, let's point out that the Grand Rapids area biggest line this week was not at the Barnes & Noble bookstore at Woodland Mall. No, we're talking about the midnight showings for Twilight: New Moon. Long considered the staple of SF/F and Star Wars and Star Trek geeks, the midnight showings locally were taken over by a largely female crowd of all ages. Only a teen phenomenon? Oh, puh-leese. Pictures on the local news and in the Grand Rapids Press showed many middle-aged women who were not all mothers chaperoning their teens or pre-teens. When Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace opened on 19 May 1999, Studio 28 had a midnight showing in Theatre 1, then had it running in 3 other theatres for the first 24 hours. Fast forward to 2009 and while Studio 28 is gone, the same chain's Celebration North mulitiplex opened New Moon in all 17 non-IMAX theatres at midnight -- over 3500 seats -- and sold out. Systemwide, they sold something like 14,200 midnight tickets, exceeded only by one of the Harry Potter's at 14,600 (and Celebration North opened it in 14 theatres at midnight). While some of this is marketing and choosing to open extra theatres and offer more seats for the midnight showings, one needs to point out another set of interesting factoids about West Michigan: (1) this was on a school night and (2) with (most?) West Michigan schools on trimesters, final exams start like on Friday. And still the teens contributed to the surge. The Inevitable ComplaintsLast Sunday, I showed up for part of a 10am panel at WindyCon 36 on "Rowling and Meyer" and what young readers are reading. J.K. Rowling's writing poor and predictable? Stephenie Meyer can't write either and her vampires aren't (sniff) canonical? Does not seem to be hurting the sales, folks. Even the NPR news quiz show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on Saturday tried to argue that all these Twilight fans are going to be unprepared to go up against real vampires. (grin) Look, I haven't read any of the Twilight novels or seen the movies. And I know some people who have and their heads didn't explode -- some of them really like them. But they are successful and I won't begrudge either writer, stars or studio their success. Did I mention that Mister Werewolf in New Moon is a local boy from Michigan? (grin) While not all these readers and moviegoers are going to become lifelong SF/F fans of all genres, there will be some who go on to read more books and see more movies. A rising tide raises all boats. Wrestling a tsunami is a little harder. (grin) Dr. Phil
A Horrifying DevelopmentLots of people read romances. And the paranormal romances are clearly a cousin of genre writing -- and sometimes it is a pretty artificial division. I read Marjorie Liu's stuff, and Meljean Brook -- these are authors I know from Clarion and online, respectively. Growing up, the brand name Harlequin seemed synonymous with Romance to me -- I guess in terms of sales, for good reason. But recently Harlequin decided to announce a new venture, essentially mining their slush pile for an in-house vanity press operation. For God's sake, Publisher's Weekly ran a news flash with a straight face. I heard about this first via Nick Kaufmann via Nick Mamatas. But now Scalzi and Making Light have lit in, because -- Thank God! -- the RWA (Romance Writers of America), MWA (Mystery Writers of America) and SFWA (Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America) have all condemned the move. In particular, RWA is to be commended, seeing as they have the most to gain and lose in this effort: One of your member benefits is the annual National Conference. RWA allocates select conference resources to non-subsidy/non-vanity presses that meet the eligibility requirements to obtain those resources. Eligible publishers are provided free meeting space for book signings, are given the opportunity to hold editor appointments, and are allowed to offer spotlights on their programs.
With the launch of Harlequin Horizons, Harlequin Enterprises no longer meets the requirements to be eligible for RWA-provided conference resources. This does not mean that Harlequin Enterprises cannot attend the conference. Like all non-eligible publishers, they are welcome to attend. However, as a non-eligible publisher, they would fund their own conference fees and they would not be provided with conference resources by RWA to publicize or promote the company or its imprints.
Sometimes the wind of change comes swiftly and unexpectedly, leaving an unsettled feeling. RWA takes its role as advocate for its members seriously. The Board is working diligently to address the impact of recent developments on all of RWA’s members. So far, it sounds as if Harlequin sounds hurt, but has removed the name Harlequin from the new venture. It has not, however, decided to skip becoming "Romance Publish America". Why This Is EvilSelf-publishing is when you hire someone to print your work -- it is very useful for certain limited interest publications, gifts and small runs of things for family & friends. Vanity publishing is when you hire someone to pretend you're a professional author -- they make you believe that your book is "just like" something which has been vetted and marketed by a real publisher. As annoying as rejection is and as big as slush piles get at real publishers, you really can't judge your own work all that fairly. For someone else to say, "hey, this is good, we can work with this, and we'd like to pay you this much to publish your work", is setting the minimum bar level. In real publishing, money goes to the author. If I put up a story on this LJ or on my website, http://dr-phil-physics.com , I'm doing this for fun and/or to give people a taste of my writing for free -- especially given that some of my real publications are hard to get. And I've been using unpublished stories so as not to interfere with those who have published me. But I know these are not vetted, edited works. They are my words and I can give them away if I feel like, provided they're not under contract elsewhere. For you to pay Harlequin, or its minions, hundreds or thousands of dollars to produce books that likely will not sell and will never get promoted to "the real publishing arm" is a scam. The bait-and-switch aspect of slush piles and rejection letters is just too vile to support. Harlequin's management should be ashamed of themselves and grovel at the feet of their authors, their readers and the writers' organizations like RWA and beg their forgiveness and vow to sin no more forever. Period. So far, no. Clearly we are misunderstanding Harlequin. And this has to be CRUSHED IN THE BUD, lest in these dangerous financial times, other legitimate publishers begin to start thinking -- hey, I've got this fucking big slush pile, too, and maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad if I followed Harlequin's lead. And don't get all sanctimonious that hey, it was Harlequin that did this, one of those Romance publishers, complete with the eye rolling of superiority. Because it could happen to anyone in any genre. No, really. It could happen elsewhere. NO. It'd be BAD. It's not RIGHT. And you people all know it. Preying on the wallets of those with hopes and dreams of becoming published authors is WRONG. And EVIL. So just STOP IT. NOW. And please, PLEASE, PLEASE... Don't Fall For This Shit Yourself. Dr. Phil
Saturday 14 November 2009 - EveningContinuing with WindyCon 36, we've arrived at 6pm, my reading. This is my second reading at a con -- I gave one at ConFusion in January. I know I'm behind in updating my website, but memo to self: need to add a page about giving readings and signings. (grin) Given that the con's theme was Steampunk, I decided to go counterculture and do a "high tech" reading. Forget those Kindles, I've been impressed with the Sony Reader eBooks. I can hook up the PRS-300 with a mini-USB cable and treat it like a flashdrive, downloading at RTF version of my manuscript at no cost (or even installing the interface software). For the reading I stepped up the font size to Large.  Other than having to anticipate page turns by hitting the page button a trifle early so the electronic ink can update in time, I had no problems reading the bright contrasty screen. In Standard Manuscript Format, my story was about 7900 words in 32 pages -- as you can see, enlarging and reformatting it made it 112 screens long. Dammit, Dr. Phil -- What About The STORY?So glad you asked. "Z.P.D. (Zeppelin Police Department)" was read before an audience of about five people -- of which I only knew two. I previously described it as " Noir. Police. Zeppelins. Steampunk." I had promoted it earlier at some sessions, one does have to be proactive about these things after all, and one person told me, "You had me at zeppelins." (grin) I've been told that a good reading is about twenty minutes. Naturally, when I test read the story last Thursday it took about 32 minutes -- I always write long. That said, I must say I had people glued in their seats and managed to elicit some reactions at some of the twists. Yeah, my reading went REALLY WELL. And "Z.P.D." will be sent out to the majors as soon as it can be fit in the rotation. I'd brought a couple copies of WOTF XXIV, which Al and I signed, and handed out to those who attended. SteakpunkIt looked like we had four to go over to the Harry Caray's Italian Steakhouse for dinner afterward. Al tried calling over, but the number didn't work. We wandered over -- Walnut was literally the furthest room from the lobby -- and found out that there'd be an hour wait. So we went out to the lobby and took over one of the tables used by groups during the afternoon. Matt couldn't stay for dinner, but hung around for the chat, then it was just me, Al and Allen. I guess Jill, who was meeting other friends for dinner, had gone later to the restaurant to look for us, but we were still in the lobby. Dinner, of course, was magnificent. Had them make some calamari without breading. Al and I had the 9 oz. fillet -- a ball fillet not a strip -- mine had Gorgonzola and his had peppercorns. Allen had really lovely looking fettucini alfredo -- which at one time I ordered all the time at Italian restaurants, but cut out because it's just too rich and I don't need it. (sad grin) Split a huge Idaho baked potato, and some broccoli and mushrooms. Stuffed all, I told our excellent waiter Christopher that he should at least tell us about desserts. Allen and I shared a chocolate bourbon pecan pie -- you thought I'd pass up an opportunity for a really fine not-too-sweet pecan pie? Although not cheap, WindyCon 37 is also at this Westin on 12-14 November 2010 -- and if you come you owe it to yourself to splurge at Harry Caray's, if you love steak, Italian and/or seafood. Sunday 15 November 2009Packed up, check out, stash stuff in the Blazer. Then off to do a quick check of the Dealer's Room, to see if anyone was selling any Steampunk stuff. One dealer had some lovely leather and brass goggles, one set complete with extra magnifying lenses, but the ones I liked were $120 and $149 respectively -- too rich for today. So on to... 11am, third Christian Ready show with latest Hubble Space Telescope images. Noon, "Alternative Technology", What assumptions are made about steampunk technology? What is possible from a materials engineering standpoint and what breaks the rules of physics? I'm on this panel and we had a lot of fun talking metallurgy, the time that steam engines require, lubrication and maintenance issues, etc. As with the Science of Steampunk panel, the emphasis was made that alternative universe stories which are well crafted and consistent, can always get away with murder -- scientifically speaking. (grin) Jeff Karp, my friend from Northwestern days, was supposed to meet me at 1pm. And I quickly found him, and as I mentioned before, he bought me lunch while we caught up. All too soon it was time to leave and hit the road. No problems racing into the heart of Chicago on I-88 and I-290, through the Post Office and hang a right turn at Buckingham Fountain, then off onto Lake Short Drive and Indiana. Naturally, the only problems were at the end. The Shell station at M-89 was overrun with vehicles, so I drove on. Road construction on I-196 closed the last Rest Stop before Holland. And the exit for US-31 North was closed, probably due to reconstruction on the flats from previous washouts during the flooding this summer. So I got off at M-40, hit the McDonald's for a restroom, then home. Dr. Phil
Friday The ThirteenthContinuing on with my coverage of WindyCon 36, I had planned on leaving West Michigan around noon EST, with 2004 Clarion and WOTF XXIV classmate ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) albogdan Al Bogdan driving over from East Michigan. But that would suppose his car was working. He told him me to go on without him. So I actually got out of town by about 12:30. (grin) Last year I ran smack into a massive construction rebuild project on Chicago's I-88 Reagan expressway (East-West Tollway) -- in the rain and at rush hour. Crawled the last four miles or so. This year I was running early. Now WindyCon's planners decided to route all the directions away from I-88 and Highland Avenue. But given we're across Lake Michigan from Chicago, I've got WBBM-AM News Radio 78 (and WGN Radio 720) on presets. So I was able to get traffic info every ten minutes and they kept saying no delays on the Reagan. I-290 near Austin was, as usual, more of a bottleneck. No further problems and I arrived at the Westin Lombard around 4pm CST. Also heard from Al, he'd gotten ahold of a vehicle and was driving all the way in from metro Detroit. Checked in and hit my first panel at 5pm, "So What Is Steampunk?" (see picture of panelist James Ballard Smoot here), then 6pm, "I Could Kill You With My Mind", started with River Tam from Firefly and talked about morality and moral codes about killing -- and insanity. Meat Up With Mattw 7pm, Opening Ceremonies. Some people like them, some people don't. If I'm there, it's fun to see the various con invited guests. Afterward, the 8pm presentation was the "Gaslamp Fantasy" Girl Genius and "Revenge of the Weasel Queen", projected artwork by the Guest Artists Phil and Kaja Foglio and voices by the same bunch of crazies who did the little play at last year's Opening Ceremonies. Then at 9pm, former Hubble Space Telescope worker Christian Ready did a lovely presentation on the Electromagnetic spectrum and the various space telescopes searching the various bands. (Really hard to do a Google search on "Christian Ready".) Amongst all this, I heard someone behind me say, "Dr. Phil" and fellow UCF member Matt came up. He was even wearing a UCF logo T-shirt. (grin) Naturally, I thought I'd commemorate this meat-up, but holding my little Sony out in front, there was no flash. No picture?  Camera was firing, but no flash -- because of the very bright indirect lighting of the ceiling. Dr. Phil: "Uh, is this thing working?" (FLASH!)Matt and I talked, and then I went up to the room to see if Al had made it. Actually, he was coming out of the room just as I turned the corner from the elevator. So we went in the room and talked a bit, then we headed down to see if I could still grab a hamburger or something, having not had dinner. Alas, as 10:20pm the kitchen had closed. So we went by the ConSuite, where I had a traditional con peanut butter & jelly sandwich (with Ruffles potato chips) and a Coke. (extra special grin) Such is con life. Saturday 14 November 2009The Westin's hotel restaurant is superb -- Harry Caray's Italian Steakhouse / Holy Mackerel -- and they do a more than complete breakfast service. Pancakes it is. (triple-stack-grin) On to panels! 10am, "Baen is for Men, DAW is for Women". Eric Flint (Baen Books) started out by reading the title as a question, then saying, "Yes." But of course he wasn't serious and it was all more complicated than that. Jim C. Hines was supposed to be on the panel, but was double-booked with the writers' workshop and only showed up at the end. The panel seemed to feel that the perception of the title was more on the reader than the publisher, though Baen covers were thought be recognizable from across the room. 11am, "Doing the Science in Steampunk", was similar to the panel I was on for Sunday on Alternative Tech in Steampunk, and it has a lot to do with a consistent vision by the author. Because armored zeppelins ain't never gonna fly. (steel-plated-grin) Quiet lunch by myself in the restaurant with a turkey club sandwich and a coke (Pepsi). This year the restaurant also was offering a lunch and dinner buffet by the con itself -- buffet lunch was $13, dinner $15. My lunch in the restaurant? Exactly $13.00. (smile) 1pm, the Christian Ready show continues with a presentation and half-hour video of May's fifth and last Hubble Space Telescope's repair and upgrade mission. Interestingly, today NPR was reporting that the Wide Field Camera 2 pulled from HST is now on display at the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum. Take A BreakSF cons, Physics and Chemistry conferences -- I can usually fill up the whole day with sessions. But sometimes you need to take a nap and definitely take some time to regroup before you're up. With say a reading, perhaps. So I wandered back to the room and caught the last 30 seconds of the Northwestern game (NU beat Illinois, they're 7-4 and bowl eligible!), the last 3 minutes of the Michigan State game (MSU beat Purdue right at the end), saw that Michigan got beat up by Wisconsin (snort), and turned off the Ohio State-Iowa game after it started. Took a nap for a while. When I woke up, it was 10-10 in the 3rd quarter, and I told Al, who'd also come in for a nap, that we hadn't missed anything. OSU won in OT, completing a brief survey of Big Ten football on the room's decent LG HDTV. Read through my story one more time, then headed downstairs... Next up: Dr. Phil's reading and Steakpunk! Dr. Phil
Book Stores -- The New Conservative Meeting PlaceTuesday Mike Huckabee was in Grand Rapids, having a book signing at Schuler's Books & Music for his non-political A Simple Christmas. Twelve short stories about Christmas. Of course if you were really cheap and didn't care about whether it was signed or not, this is one of Amazon's $10.00 deep discount titles.  Tonight, Wednesday, the Barnes & Noble at Woodland Mall was drawing huge lines -- maybe 1200 1500 people, with the line starting over twelve hours ago at 7am EST -- for Sarah Palin's first book signing for Going Rogue. Though this second book signing has much larger crowds, there is some known overlap, with several of the people interviewed from Tuesday saying that they were going to go early for Palin's line. In the Grand Rapids Press there was someone saying that Palin is "young and beautiful and she shoots moose -- what's not to like?"  MSNBC was just saying that it isn't just a book signing, but there's a stage set up outside and she'll be making an address... a speech? I don't do Barnes & Noble*** and I don't do malls, so I'm definitely not there. (grin) Not Sure I Want To Analyze This But...Looking at the Amazon listing for Huckabee's Christmas stories, they had one of their mulitple-books-with-one-click deals, tripling up A Simple Christmas and Going Rogue with Glenn Beck's Arguing With Idiots. So much for the spirit of Christmas, I guess.  Dr. Phil *** It is interesting that this shoot-out of two big book signings on two days is between Schuler's Books and Barnes & Noble. We found Schuler's soon after we got to West Michigan and have been going to their two Grand Rapids stores, and I've been to their Lansing stores, ever since. They expanded to a new location in part because the old two-level store was crowded, but also because Barnes & Noble was moving into West Michigan with a giant stand alone store. Well, that B&N, which I was never in, is now closed, because B&N decided to build a bigger store attached to Woodland Mall, next to the discount Celebration Woodland movieplex. I'm sure Schuler's is happy to let B&N have the circus at the mall. It's not that I've never been to or bought things at a Barnes & Noble -- Chicago IL, Holland MI and Greensboro NC are ones I've been in -- but to me they are something of the Walmart of booksellers. Crossing the line between mall/big box bookstores and the locally owned quality bookstore. Just sayin'.
It's Clearly ComplicatedI knew there was a big change in the Nebula rules since January 2009, so since a number of other writers have posted lists of eligible stories, I thought I'd take a look, too. There's a nice distillation of the rules here. Full Disclosure: I have not yet had enough pro sales to qualify for full active membership in SWFA, the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, so I have not yet joined, i.e. I am not yet eligible to vote myself. From 1 July 2008 to 31 December 2009
Works of Philip Edward Kaldon in English
and Published in the United States:a. Short Story: less than 7,500 words8. "Le Grand Bazar" at Space Westerns. (December 2008) http://www.spacewesterns.com/articles/108/ (5200 words) 10. "The Brother on the Shelf" in Analog Science Fiction and Fact. (May 2009) (3000 words) b. Novelette: at least 7,500 words but less than 17,500 words6. "A Man in the Moon" in Writers of the Future Anthology Vol. XXIV August 2008 (14,000 words) 9. "Under Suspicion" in Tangle Girls (Blind Eye Press) January 2009 (10,000 words) c. Novella: at least 17,500 words but less than 40,000 wordsNone. d. Novel: 40,000 words or moreNone. NOTE: the numbers in front of each story are my publication numbers, seen here. Story number 7 was published in Greek, in Greece, and is not eligible. Stories 11 and 12 were published in Australia, not the U.S., and so are not eligible:11. "Machine" in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, Issue #38 (March 2009) (9000 words) 12. "In the Blink of an Eye" in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, Issue #39 (June 2009) (7100 words) Four WorksI'm pretty proud of all four of these stories. "Le Grand Bazar", which is in English I should point out (grin), was the first story I submitted anywhere in June 2002, and was one of my two submission stories to Clarion. I'm glad it finally found a home. Some of my readers have said it is a beautiful story. (blushes) "The Brother on the Shelf" was my first sale to a major, Analog, and selling a military SF story to Stanley Schmidt is a hard sell, but then it is and it isn't a military SF story. (grin) "A Man in the Moon" was my Published Finalist in the Writers of the Future XXIV, and represents a big step up in my writing career. And "Under Suspicion" was my hard military SF story sold to Nikki Kimberling's lesbian SF/F anthology Tangle Girls, and I've gotten some very nice comments and reviews on this story. If any Nebula voters would be interested in reading or nominating these stories, I would be very grateful. Contact information is located here on my website, dr-phil-physics.com. Dr. Phil
More WindyCom To Come... but right now I'm going to post about a few things that don't quite deserve their own individual postings. November in West MichiganYou know I seem to recall a number of days of rain in a row, but that might have actually been in October. At any rate, the local weather people are commenting that if things continue as they have, then this will be the warmest and driest November on record. Hmm... well, I know I've commented that it seemed like we had November weather in October (minus any snow this far south, though they got some in Northern Michigan) and October weather in November (minus any real HOT Indian Summer -- like 80-100°F). They've also been looking at the weather patterns to the west and north to comment on when the earliest possible snow might come. At this point, they're now saying that the Sunday after Thanksgiving, 29 November 2009, is the earliest we might get some -- and if we did it could be a pile -- otherwise we'll get no snow in November at all and none til into December. We're Free!Apparently while I was off to Chicago, the big I-196 rebuild between 28th Street and 44th Street has begun to wind down and on Friday night they let the eastbound traffic onto the new pavement and have more than one lane. By today, Tuesday, all the barriers were gone so we had all the westbound lanes. Only annoying thing is that there weren't any speed limit signs anywhere in the former construction zone from where I got on at 28th Street, so is it still 60mph or have they let it back up to 70mph? Other than the slowdown and the narrowness of the lanes, this hasn't been bad going west/south on my way to Kalamazoo. But the shift over to one lane on the east/north return leg has frequently been a bottleneck -- and heaven help everyone if there's a breakdown and everything comes to a crawl or a wreck where there's no shoulder and everything comes to a halt. Of course, NOW I don't have any 6pm commitments back home for the rest of the semester, where I have to race back from K-zoo. (grin) A SlumpToday, Tuesday, I went to open my office door and it only opened maybe eight inches. One of my legendary piles of boxes had undergone a partial slump and was blocking the way. Fortunately, it did open up enough that I could get a hand in there and move boxes out of the way -- they're mostly Amazon boxes of papers and so not very large -- and I was able to get in on my own. With minimum swearing and grumping. (grin) My office was probably a storage room when it was designed, but has been an office ever since I got down to WMU in like July 1992. However the door has still got its heavy duty closing spring, so I suspect that the janitors shove the door open hard to work against the spring and opened it too far. Wonder if they heard the landslide after the door shut? Or whether it mysteriously happened in the middle of the night. We'll never know. But one can speculate. (Actually, I've already speculated some on the boxes in my office, having published a story called " Boxes" in the CrossTIME anthology Volume 5 -- grin.) FacebookingI seem to recall that the average number of Facebook "friends" that a person has is around 300. I have less than a hundred -- looks like 91 right now -- which is more than fine with me. Someone the other day was linking to an article which suggested that people can only keep track of about 150 friends in real life, and so since they had about 300 Facebook friends, they wondered which half they should keep and which half they could dump. (double-grin) Some people are pretty prolific, including those who crosslink everything in Twitter and LJ. There was free WiFi in the hotel this weekend only in the restaurant (with some signal leakage into the lobby area), and when I went to look at Facebook late in the weekend, there were something like 314 new updates. Yeesh. I decided not to look at that until I got home. (triple-word-score-grin) The thing about Facebook is that is just barelyacceptable to use. They upgrade things all the time, without warning, and just about when you get used to one way they display stuff, they change it. And everyone seems to hate the new versions... a lot! Which makes me wonder whether FB ever bothers to have anyone look at their update versions before inflicting them on people. Or whether there was ever a canonical version of Facebook that users actually liked. For me FB is a time sink which still has some utility. I have a Facebook group for my Physics classes, and while there's not a lot of posting there, I do know that when I make updates that a lot of students do see my announcements, so it's still worth it. And the regular personal Facebook is a mashup of groups: NU alum, MTU alum, Grimsley HS alum, 2004 Clarion alum, WOTF XXIV alum, other SF/F writers and fans, other library people and, last but not least, family. I set up a LinkedIn account recently, in order to be able to read someone's page, but so far I've not found it otherwise terribly useful, plus it's weirdly implemented. Wow, a social networking system that makes Facebook look good. (grin) Besides MySpace. (evil grin) Dr. Phil
Steampunk -- It's All About The Steampunk James Ballard Smoot was on the first panel I saw on Friday evening. His character is an airship pilot in the Old West. He's also a Maker -- one who makes the lovely steampunk hardware to carry around. You Never Know What's Getting On The Elevator At A Con Sure, there was plenty of velvet, leather, bustles, goggles, top hats, canes and personal firearms. But WindyCon is an SF/F convention, so not everything is Steampunk. I was not getting on the elevator with the Dalek. Just sayin'. The Traditional Blurry Picture Of Jim C. Hines A nice panel on YA SF/F and Jim C. Hines making poignant comments. The little Sony camera is good, but the flash won't reach that far and with available light, it's a little blurry -- NOT a comment about Jim! (grin) Lunch With An Old Friend Fellow NU alum Jeff Karp swung by on Sunday afternoon to say "hi", but wasn't attending WindyCon this year. However, he did treat me to lunch at Harry Caray's/Holy Mackerel. (grin) I gave him a signed copy of WOTF XXIV. (double-grin) A UCF Meat-Up Matt, another member of the infamous UCF, had never had a chance to meet any other UCF members in meat space -- until Friday the 13th. It was also his first WindyCon. I think he had a good time. Other Guest Appearances Fellow Clarionite and WOTF XXIV winner Al Bogdan was my roommate at the Westin Lombard, and Allen came to my reading on Saturday night -- and both came to Steakpunk in the wonderful Harry Caray's Steakhouse. More stuff later! Dr. Phil
Blue Sky, As Blue As... Blue SkiesGlorious ride into Kalamazoo today. Bright blue sky with just a few high hazy clouds to remind you how big the sky really is. Too bad tomorrow's weather is not going to be quite as sunny, as I head off after noon to Chicago for Dr. Phil at WindyCon. Saturday 6pm CST - Willow RoomFinished my story "Z.P.D. (Zeppelin Police Department)" Version 1.01 late last night. It came in at 6900 words by Microsoft Word's count, or about 7900 words in 32 pages by the 250 words/page method. I was shooting for about six thousand, so it is properly long by Dr. Phil's standards. (grin) This morning I read it aloud -- amazing how useful that is for catching word errors -- and it clocked in at about 32 minutes. I've been told that a good reading is about 20 minutes, but I'd like to be able to read the whole story to whomever shows up. And if no one does, I'll still read it. It's good practice. (grin) I'd finished Version 1.00 just before dinner last night, printed it out as a 2-up on the LaserJet and did a quick read-and-edit. Then worked on Version 1.01 with the edits and a bit more. One thing that's funny is that it was only in finishing it up, in like the last three paragraphs of Version 1.01, I suddenly revealed an interesting side to a main character that I hadn't seen before. And after reading it this morning, I emphasized that twist a bit more, so I am pretty pleased with this story. Of course none of the markets I would send "Z.P.D." to first are available to me for submissions at the moment -- either closed or they have a story from me right now -- but this will be sent out as soon as I can. But if you are at WindyCon and can come to my reading on Saturday evening for " Steakpunk", you can be the first to hear "Z.P.D." And maybe hang around for a good dinner, too. Dr. Phil
WindyCon 36WindyCon is this weekend -- Friday-Sunday 13-15 November 2009 -- at the Westin Lombard Yorktown Center at 70 Yorktown Center Lombard, IL 60148, west of Chicago. I hope to be there most of the weekend. Saturday 6:00pm
Walnut: Reading by P.E. Kaldon
Dr. Phil will be reading from his current work, "Z.P.D.
(Zeppelin Police Department)", in honor of the Steampunk theme.
Note: While not in the Detailed Schedule yet, it is in the Grid.
Afterwards I'll be heading to dinner at the marvelous Harry Caray's
Steakhouse in the Westin -- I'm happy to have anyone join me,
whether they come to the reading or not. (grin)
Sunday 12:00 Noon-1:00 p.m.
Junior Ballroom B: Alternative Technology
What assumptions are made about steampunk technology? What is
possible from a materials engineering standpoint and what breaks
the rules of physics?
E. Hunt, P.E. Kaldon, H. Spencer, M.Z. WilliamsonSaturday DinnerAt this moment, the only thing against my reading at 6pm -- and for the next two hours, 6-8pm -- is the Chicago 2012 WorldCon bid party. While that could be a lot of fun, my prime plan is to indulge in calamari and steak at Harry Caray's after my reading. (grin) And I'd be thrilled if anyone wants to join me. (Last year I dined alone. Then again I wasn't on the program. Didn't matter -- great meal.) NOTE: A friend of mine checked and they can cook gluten-free and they seem to be able to handle other dietary issues. You can check ahead of time, the chef seemed very open and accommodating. Now, if you excuse me, I have a short story to finish if I am going to read anything... Z.P.D.
He held the knurled brass toggle tightly as he flicked the Baldwin-Packard’s headlights on and off –- once… twice… three times. No answer.
Augustin Ferryman hated midnight meetings, especially when the seller was late. All sorts of bad images flashed through his mind, including the possibility that the metropolitan police had been tipped off. Abruptly he flipped the headlights back on and turned the large steering wheel back and forth. In geared tandem, the large twin headlights swept across the empty lot. Nothing. No one. Good. Noir. Police. Zeppelins. Steampunk. I love it. Dr. Phil
I Will Not Be AssimilatedLooked at my LJ's View Recent Comments page and found that some asshole targeted this blog for some thirteen comment spams over thirteen of my posts -- lots of links to geisha sluts and teen porn and other savory delights. (NOT) All dated some 7 hours ago. Banned her, marked her as spam, deleted all comments by her. Go away! My ApologiesTo any of the few human beings who ever actually read my blog, I apologize if you actually ran into this crap. UptickI've already seen three other cases of blog comment spam on other people's blogs in the last couple of days. LJ themselves said they had a new anti-spam system in place and had cleared out and banned a whole lot of shadow users. I guess they've had some effect -- almost all the other annoying suckass comment spam I've had this LJ came from Anonymous people, who I'd ensnared in the moderation queue and not let you be subject to this crap. Mostly they've targeted one particular older posting, but not this time. And my e-mail spam has greatly increased in the last two or three weeks. Wonderful. Idiots. Useless stupid idiots. I guess you can guess that I am not impressed by this form of bad behavior. (grin) You may resume your normal, more pleasant perusal of teh Internets. (sigh) UPDATE: I had to go in and remove each of the thirteen instances. Fortunately, they were all done about the same time, but this is real Whack-a-Mole shit. Could get ugly. If I start moderating ALL comments, you'll know why. Dr. Phil
The Artificial WorldWe often talk, with books and movies, about requiring a "willing suspension of disbelief." Without it, the story fails and we are left floundering. With advertising, I suppose one could say there's something similar. Or at least a requirement that we are "willing to go along with the ridiculous logic of the ad world." (grin) Having said that, though, an ad can fail when the ad breaks its own logic, especially at the end. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth, a betrayal. As far as the ad agency is concerned, my thoughts always drift to "what were you thinking?" Even ad logic has to have its own rules. This isn't so much a rant against a TV ad, as a nag. This ad annoyed me when it first came out -- and lately it's been recycled and shown again. A lot. I'm not sure if the corporation is being cheap or devoting itself to laying off more people on Madison Avenue by not buying new ads. It's not as if the corporation can't afford it. The McDonald's Dollar MenuIn this commercial, this Guy goes around trying to find what he can buy with a single one dollar bill. Of course, in suitable ad world logic we aren't going to worry about silly little things like sales taxes (where applicable), because we're dealing with one lonely sacred dollar bill -- and not change in the pocket or under the sofa cushions. Of course, Guy's attempts to spend his dollar are fruitless. At the travel agency, the agent gives him a little stick-on palm tree gratis -- "it's yours." The taxicab driver merely tells Guy to "get out." However, at your local neighborhood friendly McDonald's, he is told that a dollar can buy one of several great and satisfying tastes, such as a McDouble double cheeseburger, or a chicken sandwich or small fries or small drink. That's all fine. But... we end seeing Guy enjoying a whole McDonald's meal. Possibly the McDouble sandwich and fries and drink. Wait a cotton picking second here! That would be three dollars spent (plus sales taxes where applicable), not one dollar. And that annoys me. Because if we were spending three dollars, we probably still couldn't get anywhere with the travel agent, but you might get somewhere in some city in a cab. And there'd be a choice of three dollar meals and Happy Meals, etc. to choose from. But not one dollar. Not The End Of The WorldSorry if you hoping for a great scandal driven rant here, but like I said -- this one nags at me. So I'm nagging back. Doesn't make me really feel any better, but the next time the commercial comes on I'll be able to say "Ri-iiight" or "Up yours" and maybe I will feel a little snug. Or maybe he traded in that valuable free stick-on palm tree. You think it's worth two dollars? Dr. Phil
Windows Open, Heat OffYup. It was nearly 70°F here in the countryside. During the middle of the night, around 4am, it was just about 32°F and the heavy cold fog made it nearly impossible to see past the back deck or the trees in the front yard. Been very hazy all day, but otherwise many bouts of bright and sunshiny weather -- and warm. I think we had November in October and are having October in November. In other words, typical West Michigan. Bad PoliticsMeanwhile, the national health care debate has resulted in a compromised bill from the House that threatens Democratic support and a Senate whose Republican majority isn't interested in either playing the game or looking up from their playbook to see what the word compromise might possibly mean or do for their constituencies. Improvement if it actually passes and is signed? No doubt. Is it real national health care? Probably not. Michigan managed to finally get a budget, albeit a month late, but even now there are problems with the money and school budgets are likely to implode. But that's nothing compared to the machinations that are just starting regarding the 2010 elections. See, term limits are going to attack the Michigan State House, Senate, Governor and Attorney General. So in a little over a year the state will be run by people who largely don't know how state government works. Joy. Oh, and Michigan will probably lose a Congressman in the 2010 Census. Can't wait. It's not like Michigan gets back a dollar of spending for every dollar paid in federal taxes. But that's not a problem, because it's not like Michigan's economy is in the dumps even compared to the national average. Oh wait... damn. We Are Nowhere Close To Having The Best Health Care System In The WorldHard to work on choosing/adjusting health care plans for next year when the system you need to look at online needs a new PIN number -- and the phone number you have to call is only available M-F 9-5. So much for moving the work of choosing health care plans off of work time. And what's up with having to guess what your health is going to be for next year in order to "choose wisely"? Assuming, of course, you are eligible for any choices or even any heath care at all. Uh-huh, being inconvenienced is the good outcome in this problem. In Short...Yeah, the weather was pretty today. Dr. Phil
SighI guess I let it go too long again. Back on 24 October 2009 I wrote about shoveling through 72 pages of spam on my WMU mail account. That was two weeks ago. So today I checked the Pure Spam trap and found... 67 pages of spam. And again, I really have to wade through them all to make sure I don't miss something important. OopsOh crap I just marked twenty messages and hit the wrong button. The DELIVER MESSAGES button comes first -- and the DELETE MESSAGES comes second. Who the hell came up with this system? In a spam control system, your first choice is to send the messages on? In what alternate universe do these programmers live? And while I'm pissed, what's up with not having an UNDO or CANCEL button? Second, while they have a button to look over the list of messages you just deleted, there isn't one for the delivery queue. And the 20 messages I have to go and delete in my mail account aren't there yet. They're just waiting for me to finish the session and I log out, I imagine. So rather than deal with my mistake and their bad programming now, I have to remember doing it later. Good, clever, wonderful. Will somebody get a clue-by-four and beat the crap out of the Pure Spam programmers for me? DammitWhat's the point of having an unhelpful, unuseful and unreasonable spam screening system -- lately a WHOLE lot of spam has been reaching my WMU account, so despite 67 pages of spam, it should've been 72+ pages. Spammers? Bastards. Pure Spam? Epic Fail Bastards. It all sucks, dammit. Dr. Phil
I Almost ForgotWhen I posted about the Kennedy Center Honors Mark Twain Prize For Comedy for Bill Cosby the other day, I realized that there were two more things I was going to post about. OneWhen Rita Moreno came out, I immediately flashed to the short-lived series The Cosby Mysteries. As I recall, Bill's character was a police criminalist who retired after winning millions in the lottery. Rita helped him out, because of course the police kept coming back to Bill for his help solving cases. I think Mrs. Dr. Phil and I were like the only two people who watched this show -- Bill's first after the end of The Cosby Show. TwoThen they showed quite a number of clips, but two stood out, since I'd just seen a number of them on the 25th Anniversary of The Cosby Show special. One was a clip from like a 1968 Bill Cosby special where he ran into a group of kids playing street football. They were losing to the other kids like 72-6 -- the other team had given them six points because they felt sorry for them. So Bill "joined" their team and came up with a play for them to run. Typical Bill Cosby, talking in a serious tone to kids and telling them outrageous stuff, like going long and waiting in the lobby of their building or taking a bus. They said the clip hadn't been aired in forty years... and yet I saw it, and so did Mrs. Dr. Phil. We remember it clearly. And Mrs. Dr. Phil was at a conference and didn't see the Kennedy Honors, but as soon as I started describing it, she knew it. And several people of course referenced Bill Cosby's legendary Noah routine. Towards the end they showed a clip of a very young Bill Cosby doing Noah. It wasn't quite the nuanced performance I'd ever seen -- or the perfectly executed version on the comedy albums -- but it was the genesis of Noah. (grin) A young dark black man shot against a black background, being nothing more than very funny. A legend in the making. A change in the pulse, and the funny bone, of America. And that, my friends, is why they honored Bill Cosby the other night. All that and more. Thank you, Bill. Dr. Phil
Bill Cosby Part IIBack in September I waxed poetic on the 25th anniversary of The Cosby Show. Tonight, PBS aired 90 minutes of the Kennedy Center Honors Mark Twain Prize For Comedy with the 2009 recipient William Cosby, Ph.D. The opening with Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock was funny in a very respectful way -- they described running off to see Cosby together at the Apollo Theatre and being floored by two hours of new material and wandering the audience. One of the very few comedy shows I've ever been to live was when Mrs. Dr. Phil and I saw Bill Cosby in the basketball gymnasium at Grand Valley State University. It was a terrific evening and I understood where Seinfeld and Rock were coming from. Other performers did a good job of telling tales of Cosby, his routines and his generosity as an actor's actor. There were clips I haven't seen in forty years. Such a great talent. And was that his brother Russell sitting next to Mrs. Cosby? (grin) Dr. Phil
I Love xkcd!I've rhapsodized about the web comic xkcd before -- and I'm sure I will again. But this latest is an elaborate graphical chart, worthy of Edward Tufte's Napoleon's March to Moscow. It's a time-and-place character graph of big movies. Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park, Star Wars for sure. But Twelve Angry Men? Hilarious. Then another movie I've not heard of, so I guess I miss that joke. (Wikipedia says Primer is a 2004 American science fiction film about the accidental discovery of time travel. I've got it order from Amazon.) (grin) This is bloody brilliant. Really. A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far AwayMy officemate in grad school at Michigan Tech once did a huge chart of all the timelines in the Back to the Future series. It gets really complicated. You do realize that Michael J. Fox never gets "home" again. Is that "right"? Or not? (grin) Dr. Phil
This Past Weekend In San Jose CASo many of my friends -- online, Clarion, WOTF, BNAs, etc. -- were at World Fantasy Con 35 in San Jose this past weekend. And they all seemed to have a marvelous time. I've been meaning to get to a Science Fiction WorldCon, but haven't made it yet. Passed up WFCs in other places, like Madison WI, in other years. Next Year In Columbus?But next year WFC 36 is in Columbus OH Thursday 28 October 2010 to Sunday 31 October 2010. That's not so far from West Michigan. And yes, I checked: Ohio State is playing Minnesota IN Minnesota on Saturday 30 October 2010, so Columbus will be deserted. (whew) I may mainly write SF, but I have a few crossover pieces I'm working on, and even some fantasy. But the real draw would be whether some of my friends might make it. Of course with my luck everyone will say Ohio? Who cares about Ohio? And not come. (grin) But somehow I doubt that it would be everyone. (double-down-grin) Act Now and Save!The first deadline for registration is coming up on Sunday 15 November 2010. (Sunday? For US Mail? Really?) Before the 15th attending membership is $100 -- goes up to $125 after that. So my question is, do I want to be cheap for now? Or cheap for later? Though they don't give refunds, you can transfer memberships. So if I buy in now and decide not to go next year, I can recoup some/all of my money, especially if I buy now at the cheaper rate. (triple-witching-hour-grin) Anyway, something to consider. So far my SF/F con schedule for 2010 would likely include ConFusion (Troy MI) in January, Penguicon (Troy MI) in May, NASFiC (Raleigh NC) in August, WindyCon (Lombard IL) in November. Highly unlikely that I will go to WorldCon in Australia. So WFC (Columbus OH) in October is gilding the schedule a bit, and causing something of a traffic jam if I'm teaching in Fall 2010, but it's doable. Dr. Phil
It's November NowAnother successful transition (finally) to Standard Time from Daylight Saving Time. As for Halloween, we didn't get any treat-or-treaters again this year. Mrs. Dr. Phil figures that the pine trees have grown too high to see our lights on easily from the road. Plus we're the weird neighbors that don't mow their lawn. I thought we'd get one set of customers, as I saw headlights drive up. But it was just Mrs. Dr. Phil pulling the Bravada back into the garage and shutting us down for the year. Ah well. Which brings me to... It's Going To Be A Long Xmas SeasonToday's Sunday paper was chock full of Christmas ads. The Meijer's insert had red ornament graphics with all the prices. The Best Buy insert had festive red bows on everything, including a page 1 HP complete system with a Mini, desktop, laptop and WiFi system for like $1199. TV and radio spots from K-Mart have for some weeks been reminding us about layaway. And, I kid you not, a friend of mine got an email from Sears proclaiming that last Friday was the "new Black Friday". Uh no. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving in the U.S. where millions of shoppers think nothing of lining up for a few special bargain prices at 5am, or of jamming up the malls for hours all day. We generally go out to the movies on Thanksgiving and do our turkey on Friday. And we stay the hell away from the malls on that day -- and nearly ever other day of the year, too. However I predict that this year will be worse -- Christmas II of the Recession That Ate Our Retirement Funds. Just as I was remarking about the bad economy driving Halloween bigger, there will be those trying to do the same thing with Christmas. It's unfortunate that the holiday shopping spree has been made to account for such a large number of businesses' entire annual profits. The pressure of Christmas is going to be HUGE this year. Case in point: This Friday, 6 November 2009, will mark the launch of the Jim Carey/Disney animated 3-D version of A Christmas Carol, even showing it in 3-D IMAX. At the beginning of November? Whatever for? Well, I thought it was just being greedy and graspy for money, but today I figured out there was a "real" reason: because James Cameron's 3-D IMAX feature Avatar opens on Friday 18 December 2009 and IMAX theatres only have one screen. And since many Christmases, our IMAX trots out the lovely The Polar Express in 3-D IMAX, A Christmas Carol is getting squeezed out of near-Christmas viewing times. If they're going to make any money, they have to start early. But You've Heard This All BeforeSure, it's an annual rant of mine -- a plea to be more rational and maybe an old fuddy-dud's wistful wish to return to the "good ol' days" when the Christmas season officially kicked off with Santa Claus arriving at Macy's on Thanksgiving Day. But this is all too early. Stores were breaking down their Halloween displays even on Halloween Day itself. There's always the stores whose Christmas stuff starts showing up in September. And there was distinctly a Christmas song playing on Star 105 around noon last Saturday, 24 October 2009 as I scanned the radio channels looking to see who was covering college football... So is Dr. Phil really a Bah-Humbug Scrooge? No. I just don't want to see everyone going so overboard about the holiday so early -- and then burning out and being miserable and stressed out. Merry Humshit, indeed. (grin) Dr. Phil
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