June 9th, 2009


There Goes The Neighborhood

First It Was Just A Big Hole In The Ground And Piles Of Dirt

Given that we live in the country, having the neighborhood going to hell, albeit in slow motion, was one thing. See, some developer decided that what Allendale needed was a set of rectangular artificial lakes to put houses up for a water skiing community. As if there are no lakes in Michigan for any sort of recreation.

The development has taken years of nothing going on punctuated by spurts of furious ground engineering. Eventually, last year, they started filling their lakes. For a development which has something like 60 lots on it, they've only built one spec house. In a sea of water surrounded by huge piles of dirt, it looks oddly apocalyptic sitting out there.

The other year they put up a sign with the name of the development -- Placid Waters. Funny, I don't think of the word "placid" in combination with jet skis and water skiing boats. But hey, a lot of Michigan boaters wanna have a place to play with their boats. And prior to the recession, building homes and condos for people who don't want to have to trailer their boats was probably a good investment, if you're into such things, I suppose...


Yesterday I heard of some sort of international water skiing and wake boarding tournament that was coming to Placid Waters on 26-27 June 2009. Admission $10 a head. WTF? I thought this was supposed to be some sort of closed community. Now they're expecting a circus?

But Now We Learn Of Their Insidious Plans

So while paying for gas in town this morning, I saw a poster for this event and I decided I'd better Google Placid Waters when I got to work. And now I find not just their schedule of events, but also their evil master plans.

Lake Placid is an engineered, tournament conditions lake. Six bays are connected for easy transit between your sessions. Three bays will feature permanent slalom courses. Two bays will be for board sports or trick skiing. One bay will be for board sports, trick skiing, and jumping. Expect to have the best in the world pay a visit a few times a year to test their skills against each other, and perhaps you—it will be your home water.

Placid Waters is organized as a Site Condominium project around Lake Placid. Once in full operation, the community will be self-governing. There are site and building restrictions to keep the value and standards of the community high. The entire property is private and golf carts will be the preferred mode of transportation.


June 26 and 27 is the Global Invitational (www.globalinvitational.com). Tickets are available at Action Watersports (616-896-3100). Sponsorship information is available by e-mailing info@placidwaters.com. We expect a big crowd for one of the very few pro tournaments this year. The competition should be fierce - and you can be close enough to feel the mist from the passing skier.


All this takes place about two miles from our house, over on 84th Avenue. Why am I just learning of these tournament competition plans now? I don't recall any of the things I've seen in Allendale ever suggesting that Placid Waters was anything other than a recreational water community, with straight lakes as opposed to the two irregular ones in the development done on the other side of the Grand River from GVSU.

Lake Placid? With bread and circuses? Fuck no. I don't think they know what the word placid means. Sigh.

Dr. Phil