March 29th, 2014


Spamming My LiveJournal

There's been a steady run of absurdest comments on primarily one post I made four years ago regarding a sabbatical. They are spam of an odd sort -- while they contain no links or embedded nonsense, I suspect they are bait to attract comments, so the hook will come later.

Or else teenagers from around the world are just messing with me.

Naturally they are all Anonymous. Except I log their IP addresses -- which should even be mentioned on the Post A Comment screen.

There are several standard types, and while I don't Unscreen these Anonymous comments, I do reply to most of them.

These are all cut-and-paste, so you can see this crap in all its random glory. Plus most of my snarky replies.

All of these are from the last three months.


There's the Your Hair Looks Fabulous What Are You Using posts:
Anonymous (from
January 16 2014, 00:14:26 Local Check link Collapse Delete Unscreen Track
Hi are using Wordpress for your blog platform?
I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and cdeate my
own. Do you need any coding expertise to make your own blog?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Dear ,

It's called LiveJournal for a reason. I actually compose on Dreamwidth, which uses the LJ engine and crosspost to LJ. If I used WordPress, the blog entry would generally have a note saying Created by WordPress or something like that.

Anonymous (from

Hello, i think that i noticed you visited my web site
so i came to return the prefer?.I am trying to find issues to improve
my web site!I assume its adequate to make use of a few of your concepts!!
Pretty sure I never visited your website.

Anonymous (from

This figure will vary however, depending on the company and also your
experience in your trade. The more appliances you add to your living
space, the more power you're going to need in reserve.
You may also not necessarily attentive to different wire setting
and cutting any wire can make your trouble bigger and price more.

I think I have a repeat Anonymous obsessed with appliances and wiring.

Why do these replies make me feel like the sender is in the middle of a conversation with someone else?


Some almost make sense:
Anonymous (from

It's amazing to go to see this site and reading the views of all friends on the topic
of this article, while I am also eager of getting knowledge.
Except they NEVER get specific. As in they're not really reading my blog. And that disappoints me -- I have so few readers as it is.


And if they DO get specific, it's not about my blog -- and I sure as hell am not going to Google any of these names:
Anonymous (from

If you have a profession, the spot you choose must allow you
to use that profession at least partially. Maslin Seldon writes reviews on how to
get online. "Global Gold is a direct refiner, therefore we pass the savings right on to you," says owner Oshri Reuven.
Dear Anonymous (from,

We don't want to hear about your gold "direct refiner, therefore we pass the savings right on to you" pitch.

Stop bothering people and get a real job.


Anonymous (from
February 17 2014, 17:58:25

If you choose to submit your car, the Internet sales manager
will rapidly follow up and begin the process of
getting your car to their dealership for you. Dinner salads are award-winners featuring a special house dressing, sweet pepper strips and artichoke hearts.
In the late '60s and early '70s, Detroit's Big Three were battling it out, with their Corvettes, 'Cudas, Camaros, and Mustangs, to win the
war of the muscle cars.
Unbelievable. All the Anonymous shits seem to be dumping on this four year old post on my Sabbatical.

Clearly I'm not up on the kids' lingo these days. Muscle cars and artichoke hearts?


And try not to be too flowery if your English isn't too good -- it becomes incomprehensible:
Anonymous (from

What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable knowledge on the topic of unexpected emotions.


I don't want to be mean and assume assholery all the time, so I do try to make a helpful reply if I can:
Anonymous (from,

February 20 2014, 11:01:53
Excellent blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?
I'm planning to start my own blog soon but I'm a little lost on everything.
Would you suggest starting with a free platform like Wordpress or
go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I'm completely overwhelmed ..
Any suggestions? Thank you!
Assuming this is a serious request, I would start with LiveJournal before considering WordPress. Why? Because LJ's built-in functions are fairly seamless. You can later migrate to WordPress later once you know what you want to do.

And I would get the minimum paid account so you don't get ads, but that's up to you.


Maybe these are random word generators -- the million monkeys on a million laptops experiment:
Anonymous (from
March 21 2014, 08:15:58 Local Check link Collapse Delete Unscreen Track
They usse guilt to try and persuade him to reconsider. By becoming an employee who possesses the potentials and credentials for
career advancements, the positive results will
include salary increases. Inasmuch as you are committed, it folloows that
you are also armed with persistent eforts to see all procedures through for as long
as they will lead to the success of targeted goals.
Honestly, Anonymous (from,

Do spammers like you ever actually READ the blog posts you dump on?

And the beat goes on...


Oh look, Yet Another Non-Sequitur Comment on this post. If I collect all of them here on this old post about my "sabbatical", do I win a prize?
Anonymous (from

Chances are that, if they had a good experience with the
plumber, you will also. One of the most iconic gadgets of the Fallout series, used to control all your attributes,
items and stats. Becoming a plumber can be just as convoluted as the pipes they
work on, so consider your career path carefully
before beginning any qualification.

Go away strange little people, unless you can actually contribute to the real conversation at hand here.


Perhaps I will reserve judgement on this one until they actually READ my blog.
Anonymous (from

Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the
book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics
to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is great blog.
A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.
But I do wonder what the point of all these emails actually is. Are they hoping I'll become friends with them before they spring a trap?

I do not become friends with Anonymous people.


But... A dozen Anonymous comments in on this four year old post -- AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

Anonymous (from

Ύes! Finally someone writes about parrot fish.


What in the Sam Hell Is Talking About? Parrot fish = Sabbatical? Just what are they smoking in Brazil these days?


Sometimes I get the feeling that people are using my old blog post to send secret messages to each other. Before LiveJournal cracked down on spammer accounts, I would find these long exchanges in my comments of letters and numbers. Post-9/11 that's REALLY creepy.

This stuff? All I can do is poke fun at these. And YOU are the beneficiary!

Dr. Phil

Sometimes I Can't Help Myself

I teach Physics. I can't not teach Physics. I guess that means I'll never be a cool kid.

On Facebook:
Ugly confession time: I frequently confuse the concepts of "mass" and "weight."
To which came the reply -- On earth the two concepts are essentially identical.

I couldn't let that stand, despite common usage. I.E., erroneous common usage.
  • Philip Edward Kaldon "On earth the two concepts are essentially identical." No. Mass is a measure of how much stuff an object contains. Stuff IS a Physics technical term for undifferentiated matter. The mass of an object is the same anywhere. Weight is the force due to gravity of one mass on the other -- typically used for a small object near a large object. Gravity is an inverse square law -- it's strength falls off as 1/r², the square of the distance between their centers. Near the surface of the Earth, weight is relatively constant. Apparent weight is the force you feel pushing up on you -- you feel heavier momentarily when an elevator accelerates upward. Gravity and weight are not zero in orbit, the apparent weight is zero because everything is in freefall, except forward speed is fast enough that you don't fall to the ground, but fall around the curve of the Earth. They can get away with selling cans of peas which say Net Weight 1 lb. (454 grams), because while pounds is the English unit of weight and force, and grams and kg are metric units of mass -- all cans of peas are sold near the surface of the Earth. (Astronauts don't yet have to shop for food in space.) So the conventional conversion of 1 kg = 2.2 lbs or 1 lb = 0.454 kg, while a technical lie, are useful. (Whew!) (Gets off soapbox.) Dr. Phil
  • Philip Edward Kaldon Newton's second law: F = m a, force = mass x acceleration. On Earth, w = m g, weight = mass x acceleration due to gravity. A 1 kg mass has an Earth weight of 9.81 Newtons = 2.2 lbs. The English unit for mass is the slug -- my favorite unit. To find your mass in slugs, take your weight in pounds and divide by 32. (g = 9.81 m/sec² = 32 ft/sec²) I always tell my students I think Weight Watchers has missed a real genius advertising campaign -- Shed Those Excess Slugs Now! I would have cute little plush slugs inning juice green as mascots... Dr. Phil

Just because we end up using the two terms, mass and weight, interchangeably and even have an illegal conversion formula, doesn't mean they are the same thing.

And being the teacher, I had to share this to a wider audience.

And await the derisive comments on Facebook. (grin)

Dr. Phil