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Dr. Phil Watches Super Bowl XL

Sunday, 05 February, 2006

Dinner: Beef stroganoff in the crockpot all day -- excellent fresh stew beef from the Allendale Meat Market.

Ignored all the opening crap and pre-game shows. During the introductions, we kept the sound off and WLAV-FM's A-Z on -- surreal to watch all the fireworks with 20 minutes of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. No, really! But the Dr. Seuss bit with Harrison Ford and others was cute. Dr. Seuss is always appropriate. (grin)

I actually had some investment in the game, given that supporting Pittsburgh is big in my family, except that I can't root for anybody. Despite that, I tempted fate by wearing a Pittsburgh cap from Friday on... and all day today. We'll see how it goes.



(1) Hiding bottles of Bud Light in the office and a riot ensues -- sorry, beer just isn't that desperate a thing, guys.

(2) BK Whopper commercial -- with the Busby Berkeley musical number and outfits -- the lettuce! the tomatoes! the onions! the burger (with grill marks)!, the buns! Ew -- the creepy Burger King king... yuck. Ruin the fantasy, why don't you? And where was the ketchup when they assembled it?

(3) Sierra Mist -- fake wanding by TSA guys intent on stealing guy's Sierra Mist.

(4) Bud Light -- secret revolving wall to hide the refrigerator full of Bud Light -- and the Magic Fridge to the guys on the other side. funny.

(5) movie: 16 Blocks

(6) Totoya Hybrid, English-Spanish between Father and Son. Huh?

(7) Cavemen and FedEx -- not invented yet, not my problem, kick the little dino, get tromped by big foot. cute

(8) Bud Light and bear on the trail...

(9) movie: V for Vendetta

(10) Diet Pepsi & Diddy... er... D. Pepsi.

18:55 - TD SEA but FLAG. Still SEA-0 PIT-0.
18:59 - 47 yd FG SEA. SEA-3 PIT-0. 1st 0:22

(11) Mr. Nimoy at Star Trek convention. ALEVE allows him to do Vulcan handsign. Cheers.

(12) Ameriquest -- guy killed in hospital bed, then family comes in? Huh? This is funny?

(13) guys on roofs, not working?

(14) TV: Lost

(15) Diet Coke, no, Diet Pepsi ad

(16) movie: Cars (Pixar)

(17) TV: Dancing With The Stars.

(18) repeat from before game: SBC/AT&T "visible" network world

(19) Budweiser Football Clydesdales -- shorn sheep "streaker" -- "Didn't need to see that."

(20) clueless cellphone guy surrounded by chaos. Mobile ESPN phone.

(21) TV: Grey's Anatomy

(22) Chimps at office. Celebrating because they've got the chart sideways, careerbuilder.com

(23) ultra chic/edgy fashion show in black, Cadillac Escalade

19:21 SEA intercepts on 16 yd line

(24) movie: Mission Impossible: 3 (saw this trailer last month in theatre)

(25) girls/women dissatisfied with appearance, "the dove self-esteem fund"

(26) TV: The Evidence (March 06)

(27) movie: Chris Bermin play-by-play for The Shaggy Dog

(28) Kermit out in nature. Ford Escape Hybrid.

(29) Touch football. Michelob Ultra Amber. The world of light beer just got a little darker.

(30) TV: Desperate Housewives, with Shaq at freethrow line practicing.

(31) godaddy.com -- send in the GoDaddy girls? Dumb.

(32) movie: The "other" Poseidon adventure movie (May 12)

(33) secret desert base: Gillette Fusion with FIVE blades

(34) some trash with Mr. Playboy himself, Hugh Hefner? (it's another Desperate Housewives ad)

19:41 - QB keeper, SEA-3 PIT-6, under review

(35) Overstock.com with their usual strange European spokeswoman.

19:45 - ruling on field stands, TD, SEA-3 PIT-7

(36) Disneyland's 50th anniversary

19:54 - SEA FG, no good. end of half

(37) Sprint phones -- video, music, crime deterrent? Throwing it in locker room? There's a whole theme of violence and hitting people in the Super Bowl ads this year. It's like assault is the new Viagra...

(38) NFL fans, The Super Bowl, Thanks... NFL Network

(39) TV: longer Desperate Housewives with multiple sports and famous people, including Shaq and Hugh Hefner

(40) Kid on tree swill atop hill, Dad pushing, Kid grows up and bowls him over. Nationwide insurance and investments.

(41) TV: Gray's Anatomy, (42) Sons & Daughters, (43) Lost

The Rolling Stones Half-Time Show: Start Me Up, something else, Satisfaction.

20:31 - 2nd half starts

20:32 - "Fast Willy Parker" long 75 yd. run, SEA-3 PIT-14 2nd 14:38 (longest rushing play in NFL Super Bowl history)

(44) jumbo jet at night, woman ends up in compromising position when lights come on. Don't judge quickly. Don't remember who campaign is for.

(45) asteroid crashes into desert, rock erodes, ice age, falls out of glacier, washes up on beach: Motorola PEBL cell phone

(46) pirate mascot having trouble signing autographs with one hand a hook, Sharpie retractable marker

(47) TV: Lost

20:42 SEA 50 yd FG wide left, still SEA-3 PIT-14 2nd 11:40

(48) little Clydesdale trying on harness, trying to pull wagon -- big pair of Clydesdales pushing in back, "I won't tell if you won't" says the man... Budweiser

(49) Fabio shampoo... no, horrible old man, Life comes at you fast... Nationwide insurance

(50) Grocery store: It was a different era. We ate non-organic foods and we liked it. What's the Browns score? NFL Mobile.

(51) existing commercial with monster and giant robot giving birth to Hummer H3... It's A Little Monster... still cute...

(52) people in green biohazard suits and black boots, Practical Solutions (PS) for practical living -- anti-bacterial craze

(53) TV: Sons & Daughters, unscripted, just like your family

20:52 SEA intercepts near goal and runs back some 75 yards...

20:54 Finally SEA TD, SEA-10 PIT-14, 3rd 6:45

(54) existing commercial with working with a bunch of monkeys -- but woman works with a bunch of jackasses -- careerbuilder.com

(55) Taco Bell crunch wrap supreme -- geek in glasses in old blue convertible, girl geek in glasses on bus stop bench... it's better the second time around...

(56) Slim Fast Control Shakes for women

(57) TV: Sons & Daughters

(58) shorter version of Gillette Fusion razor -- "the comfort of five blades, the precision of one"

(59) movie: The World's Fastest Indian

(60) tide tries to destroy the Tacoma pickup truck on the rocks, fails. "Invincible". Creative, but the "meteor proof" commercial was more surprising the first time I saw it.

(61) Sprint ring tones for everything. What if your couch caught on fire? Keystone cops. dumb... went on too long... and only seconds at that...

(62) existing McDonald's breakfast ad with guy who won't wake up for noise or kitty walking over his head

(63) existing Nokia phone ad with guy getting directions from other guy to try to talk to this girl on a date...

21:33 PIT intercepts, this following a SEA pass to 1 yd line, sent back due to penalty and then a QB sack, 4th 10:46

(64) Stunt City, Degree deodorant

(65) Emerald Nuts -- Eagle Eyed Machete Wielding... Recognize A Little Druid Networking Under The Stairs... as cute as their weird ads ever are...

(66) Fidelity investments... boring

(67) TV: Boston Legal

21:28 43 yds PIT TD "gadget play", SEA-10 PIT-21 4th 8:56

(68) Budweiser stadium cards putting beer in the glass, then drinking it down... Ahhh! (If it was REALLY done with cards, I'd be impressed, but I fear it is all CGI)

(69) movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (July 7)

(70) Debit MasterCard with "MacGyver"... cute

(71) TV: Dancing With The Stars

21:33 SEA QB fumbled? PIT recovers? CHALLENGE: 4th 8:26

(72) another clueless guy watching Sports Heaven on his ESPN Sports Phone

(73) metal silhouette trucker girl gets into Honda Ridgeline pickup with Yosemite Sam -- that takes care of 90% of trucker's mud flaps, methinks (grin)

(74) toasting in a dozen languages... Here's to Beer.com

(75) TV: Jimmy Kimmel Live (trying to redeem himself in Detroit's eyes)

21:37 QB was touched before he fell, CHALLENGE overturns fumble. So still SEA ball.

(76) World Baseball Classic (March)

(77) re-run from Go Daddy.com

(78) TV: Monday Night Football in Fall 2006 on ESPN...

(79) existing ad from Subway with The Crocodile Hunter

(80) movie: Running Scared

(81) Outback -- weird guy who tried to rip a boomerang off the restaurant wall

(82) short Westin ad

(83) TV: Grey's Anatomy

(84) guy delivers a pizza, just like you like it -- One Last Final Game -- Pro Bowl

22:02 PITTSBURGH STEELERS WILL WIN, SEA-10 PIT-21...



THE DR. PHIL STUPORIFIC AWARDS

Why is it that some years it looks like companies spent their whole advertising wad on the expensive Super Bowl time and then forgot to spend any on the commercials? Lackluster is a good word to describe the Super Bowl XL commercials, but here goes:

BEST COMMERCIAL: should've been the Burger King musical commercial, but they had that creepy Burger King in it, so I am going to go with the BEST HEART TUG: the little Clydesdale thinking it can pull the big cart.

BEST EXISTING COMMERCIAL: The "Godzilla" and Giant Robot make a Hummer H3

BEST IMPROVED RETREAD: careerbuilder.com adding the "working with jackasses" segment to the "working with a bunch of monkeys" ad

BEST UNINTENTIONAL LAUGH: Gillette Fusion razor with... (chortle) five blades... (snicker, SNL "Triple-Track") (guffaw)

BEST LITTLE LAUGH: "The Magic Fridge is back!"

BEST ALMOST GREAT AD: The Burger King Busby Berkeley musical number -- ruined by the creepy Burger King guy

BEST WE DON'T NEED THIS PRODUCT COMMERCIAL: Practical Solutions PS anti-bacterial products, people going through life in bright green hazmat suits

BEST GENRE COMMERCIAL: Mr. Nimoy at the Trek con for Aleve

BEST GUY AD: Guys on roofs not working

BEST BUSINESS AD: The FedEx caveman ad.

BEST CONSISTENTLY WEIRD ADS: Emerald Nuts with Druid

BEST FOOTBALL-BASED AD: Budweiser stadium cards pouring beer into glass

BEST SUPER-BOWL SERIES AD: The Budweiser Clydesdales playing football -- the sheep streaker this year

The Game Is Over...

Now, can we get on with Grey's Anatomy?

Dr. Phil
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