Seen on the license plate of a Red BMW Mini-Cooper... ITYBIDY
(said car was traveling northbound on US-131 the other day in excess of the Michigan 70 mph speed limit -- are you surprised?)
Instant Coronary Arterial Blockage
What is it with the Really Big Food kick?
"Don't just live big -- eat big."
-- new ad for Wendy's Triple
Now the Triple has been out for a while, even if In Real Life it doesn't heap up nearly as large as the food porn pictures in the TV ads. And McDonald's was pushing the Double-Quarter-Pounder-With-Cheese back in the fall with their "Eat Large or Go Home" (or something to that effect) campaign. Burger King has had the Double Whopper since I was in college -- I confess I have actually eaten a Double Meat Whopper with Cheese (1010 Calories 67 grams of fat) at BK in Evanston IL while at Northwestern, having brought in a Swenson's vanilla milkshake from down the street. The mere thought of it today, even though I am much larger than I was then, makes me ill.
Last November Hardees had that Monster Thickburger: 1420 Calories and 107 grams of fat.
Excuse me, does everything in the world have to have bacon on it? I like bacon once or twice a year. And with pancakes, please. Lots of maple syrup. The rest of the time? Keep the bacon. And really, I do NOT require bacon, real or imitation, on a bloody salad.
And then there are those creepy Burger King ads with the plastic headed king. That soft voice urging you on... like slipping a heroin needle into your arm... that's right, you want it... The Enormous Omelet Sandwich. This is for Thickburger customers on a diet -- only 730 calories and 47 grams of fat. (To be fair, the Whopper weighs in a 700 calories and 42 grams of fat -- The Denny's Grand Slam at 665 and 49, respectively -- so I guess you'll want that Whopper with Cheese, in order to feel better.) (gulp) (gurk)
Look, it's a free country. Do what you want. But businesses, if you want to cater to an increasingly larger American clientele, you better give up this One Size Fits All crap and start thinking about wider seats in coach... And while you're at it, would you mind terribly coughing up some clothes in 6XB XXL for those of us who are large and have very long torsos?
At Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith on Thursday "morning", the biggest cheer amongst the ten minutes of movie trailers was for the Marvel Comics inspired Fantastic 4. I must say that the bits we saw looked real good. That may be going head-to-head with the Spielberg/Cruise juggernaut War of the Worlds -- I've seen two trailers for that movie and they're batting .333 with me right now (the second trailer showed something which looked like it had to do with H.G. Wells' story, the other two trailers are a mess). I am a huge fan of the George Pal movie, as well as the Orson Wells Mercury Radio Theatre production -- so I am not yet looking forward to this movie.
Best looking Action/Comedy goes to Mr. and Mrs. Smith with, of all people, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. My favorite Pitt movie may be Seven, don't like him so well. I like Angelina in the movies, but she's so damned weird In Real Life.
I have never seen the old Willy Wonka movie -- the Oompa-Loompa's looked bad in the trailers -- but I've seen enough scenes from the Gene Wilder version that I may someday see it. The new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- Johnny Depp and Tim Burton... I just don't know. Depp doesn't look old enough in the trailers -- Wilder looked about right, at least for the movies. But this is one of my all-time favorite books as a child, enough so I don't really need to have a movie version of it, let alone two. Who can forget, on a cold winter's day just after Christmas, sitting in a big chair reading about a poor man trying to feed a household of seven (4xgrandparents, 2xparents, 1xkid) while working screwing the caps on toothpaste tubes? The hopelessness of that sort of work is portrayed so deliciously in words, which in my writing I can only dream of ever achieving in a children's story... (For that matter, I never have seen the movie version of Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang, either, which was my first "long" hardcover book ever. The creepy line illustrations in both these books are a hook for me.)
More Mail for "Dr. Phil"
A lad out there really, really wants to talk to his ex-girlfriend who dumped him. He really, really wants to be just friends. He really, really wants Dr. Phil to tell him how to make her come by and talk to him.
Is anyone else creeped out by this? Man, it sounds like a Law & Order episode teaser before one of the cops comes out with a bad quip while standing over the fresh corpse... (shudder)
... will probably be a regular feature here. A place to stick little items, revisions and updates to the week's previous entries. I usually tell my students that random stuff gets piled up on my desk -- and at the end of the semester I do a scatter-gather to find all the oddball stuff, stack it up and process it all at once.